Dark Desires
by Mina Ina Cooper
Summary: AU Season 4. After Willow's spell to have her will be done in 'Something Blue', Buffy and Spike try to figure out if their feelings for each other are real or just an effect from the spell. SPUFFY.
1. Uncertainties

**A/N- This story is set after the episode Something Blue during Season 4. So far, Hush has not happened yet, and I'm not sure if I'm going to include it. Everything before this is according to Buffyverse, so there's no Dawn. If you want me to include something, you can press that neat little green button at the bottom of the page and tell me about it. Reviews would be super awesome, because this is my second Fanfic right now and I'm trying to write as much as I can during Thanksgiving break. Thank you to anyone who enjoys this story.**

**(Stupid) Disclaimer: This (sadly) isn't mine, even though that would be super awesome 'cuz that meant I would own Spike. But I don't and am super sad [:(], but no worries because I can come here and write all I want about him, which is a plus for all of you guys too.  
**

Chapter 1: Uncertainties

Buffy turned towards Stevenson Hall. She hoped Willow was in their room. She really needed some girly talk right now. Buffy felt guilty. It wasn't a common feeling for her, and she wasn't exactly sure why. It was only a spell. What she felt for Spike wasn't even real. Plus, Riley thought she was joking. He didn't know the truth. She had nothing to feel guilty about. But then why did she feel so bad.

Buffy reached room number 214 and strode in. Willow sat cross-legged on her bed reading one of her magic books. She looked up when Buffy closed the door and placed her bag on her desk.

"How was patrol?" Willow asked putting down the book face down on the nightstand.

"Uneventful," Buffy sounded disappointed. "Not even one vampire. I was so hoping that there would be at least one vampire to hit."

"D'you tell Riley? Or at least lie to him?" Willow asked.

"Ya, I told him that I was playing a joke on him. He caught me looking at wedding dresses the other day and I told him I was getting married to an old guy named Spike. He was kind of upset. But then I found him later and told him I was insane and that I was messing with him 'cause he looked freaked," Buffy explained.

"So everything's good now between you two?"

"Ya," Buffy cleared her throat.

"No it's not. Buffy is it really alright? Don't lie to me," Willow pointed a finger at her. "I know when you're lying to me."

"Well…it's just that…I don't know…there are these sort of feelings…and I…"Buffy began to trail off.

"Ya, I've just been reading on that. It seems that my spell wasn't very specific. Kind of how I willed Giles not to see anything, and then he became blind and then Xander was a demon magnet. Well, those could be interpreted different ways, like Xander could have literally been a magnet, but that wasn't my intention. With you, when I said that you should marry Spike, I never said anything about you two being in love, but that was sort of my intention."

Buffy just sat there with her mouth gaping open. Willow took that as a sign to continue on.

"So even though I willed my spell to end, there may be some everlasting effects. You'll probably still have some feelings. After awhile, anything you feel will be genuine though."

"So that's it? Everything I'm feeling right now was from the spell?" Buffy asked. Willow reassured her with a nod. Buffy sighed in relief.

"Not to be prod-y or anything, but I am the best friend, and as my right to ask, is Spike a good kisser?" Willow raised her eyebrows, clearly wanting an answer.

Buffy blushed. She felt her cheeks heating up and mentally kicked herself for giving Willow the ammo she needed to continue. "He is… um… uh. Wow. Like amazing and…God why am I even telling you this?" Willow giggled, only causing Buffy's blush to deepen.

"So is that a: he's an amazing kisser, I can't stop thinking about him, or an, I can't even describe it in words good?" Willow prodded even further.

"Kinda both," Buffy admitted. "I'm mean, there's a certain way about him, and the way he uses his tongue," Buffy's eyes widened when she realized what she was saying. She leaned her head into both of her hands and moaned. "Just kill me now," She muttered.

"How is this going to reflect on Riley? You haven't even seen what the poor guy can do and here you are busy thinking about another guy. Buffy looked up from where she let her head rest in her hands and glared at the red head. Willow just gave her that _you know I'm right _smile and Buffy threw her head back so that she was laying on her back.

Buffy thought about what Willow said and knew she was right. That was why she felt guilty. She was getting ready to get into a relationship with a normal boy for once, and she was busy thinking about the undead. Well, a certain undead person who happened to have great lips and exceptional kissing skills. Buffy signed deeply in defeat, mostly for effect, and got up off the bed and began to change for bed. Willow, already dressed in her pajamas, got underneath the covers and picked up her book to the page she left it.

Buffy only nodded when Willow asked her if she could still read for a little while longer. She was too wrapped up in her mind to fully think about it. Buffy sat back in bed away from Willow and continued to think. It wasn't until Willow was long asleep that Buffy began to drift off, Spike occupying most of her thoughts. For once, Buffy slept soundly with a grin on her face.

* * *

Spike got as much sleep as he could while chained to a bathtub. His back was relaxed against the porcelain and his head rested on the edge. The chains rattled as he tossed and turned in his sleep. It wasn't necessarily a bad nightmare, but more of an unwelcomed dream.

_Buffy stood in front of him with a stake in her hand which rested at her side. He couldn't quite tell what her expression was, but she was looking right at him into his blue eyes. He stared into her unusual hazel eyes. Right then they appeared to be more of a brown. He looked at their surroundings. They were standing in the quad of the UC Sunnydale campus and it was night time. A bright full moon hung high in the sky and shone on Buffy's blonde wavy locks. He let his eyes roam the rest of her body, pausing on her breasts and continuing on. _

_ When he reached her eyes again, she began to speak. "What have you done to me?" she whispered. _

_ "What have I done to you, luv, you're in _my_ dream, remember?" Spike pointed out. _

_ "What have you done to me?" Buffy repeated._

_ "Luv, enough with the games. I have not a clue what you're mumbling about. If you're gonna blame me for something, and it wouldn't be the first, at least let me know what I did." Spike spoke. _

_ "You made me this way. Made me feel. You've done something to me. And I can't go down that road. I want you to stop whatever you've done to me." Buffy rambled. _

_ "I didn't do anything to you, you bint. It was Red and all her mojo. She did that spell on us. Made us all lovey-dovey. But she undid that spell hours ago, so I don't know what you're talking about." Spike explained. _

_ "I can't feel this way. You're a vampire. An evil, soulless vampire. I'm not going to let myself have these feeling for you. I should have killed you. You were vulnerable and I should have done you a favor."_

_ "Oh, so that's you solution for everything. You don't wanna have to deal with the emotions, she you're just gonna off me, is that it? Well, I'm not going down without a fight, you know. If I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with my all. And how do you know that I won't kill you first?" Spike took a step forward. _

_ Buffy raised her stake slowly while taking small steps forward. She stopped when she was right in front of him, the stake aimed directly for his heart. Before she could take any action, Spike threw a right hook and hit her squarely on the jaw. Buffy stumbled backwards, dropping the stake at the side. _

_ Spike leaned over her and took each wrist in each of his hands, but before he could do anything. Buffy kicked him in the chest and sent him straight into a light pole. He landed on all fours, giving Buffy enough time to get back on her feet and retrieve her stake. When she was right in front of him, Spike swung out his legs, knocking out hers and making her land on her back. Spike crawled over and straddled her legs with his thighs. He had both her wrists pinned above her head with his hands. _

_ He looked at her then, noticing fear in her eyes and something her couldn't quite distinguish. He leaned over until his mouth was hovering at the base of her neck. He could hear her heart beat getting faster. He kept his position, inhaling deeply and taking in her vanilla scent. For some reason, he didn't feel the urge to bite her, much less kill her. _

_ Instead, her lowered his mouth and kissed her neck softly. He raised his head and noticed her confusion. He bent down again and lightly kissed her on the mouth. It took a few seconds for her to react and then he could feel her return the kiss. _

_ After a few moments like that, they finally broke apart and Spike straightened up. She was still pinned under him and she didn't make any movements to try to get up. _

_ She only whispered one word to him, "Why?"_

_ Spike looked confused for a few seconds. He wasn't sure of that himself. He smirked at her when he saw her face growing more and more curious. _

_ "You're not the only one with feelings, luv. I think I'm falling in love with you Slayer. Buffy I—"_

Spike woke up hyperventilating. The chains clicked noisily against the bathtub walls. When Spike stopped the unnecessary breaths he relaxed against the bathtub and looked down. He continued to stare at nothing while his mind raced at lighting speed. He tried to reason with the dream, praying that it wasn't true at the same time.

Spike just couldn't see him being in love with the Slayer. Sure, when he first saw her, he noted that she was a thing of beauty. Truly magnificent really. The way she danced. The swing of her hips to the beat of the music. Even the way she moved when they fought was like she was dancing. He especially loved it when she was angry. Her movements were much more fluid and her eyes always blazed a low emerald.

None of that made it impossible to fall in love with her. In fact, thinking about her like that was making his feelings for her stronger. Wait, did he just confirm he had feelings for her? He hoped that whatever it was that was making him think this way was temporary. This was the Slayer, for bloody sakes. And he was the Slayer of Slayers. He was supposed to be killing her, not have fuzzy feelings towards her. He should be dreaming of torturing her, of tasting her blood. Instead he dreamed of kissing her, of wanting her.

Spike pushed all thoughts of the Slayer out of his head in hopes of getting some sleep. He shifted his position in the bathtub a few times until he decided that it was of no use trying to get comfortable. He closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Missions

**A/N: Great! So chapter 2 is up. A warning for those who like the Buffy/Riley pairing, sorry, it's not gonna be like that for most of the fic. If anyone has any suggestions, just leave a review. (P.S. A review would be so awesome!)  
**

Chapter 2: Missions

Buffy had successfully avoided going over to Giles' place for two weeks because she was too busy focusing on her "schoolwork." She still patrolled every night, having to lie to Riley every time a Slayer thing came up. Even worse, Riley hadn't made any further moves other that hugs and pats on the shoulder.

Willow wondered if Spike was the reason that Buffy hadn't gone to visit Giles, even to check that there was nothing of the supernatural brewing. She didn't think that the spell was going to last this long. Willow even used the library as an excuse to get out of the room that she and Buffy shared so Buffy and Riley could have alone time. Buffy would get over it soon enough, she was sure of it.

* * *

Riley watched Buffy intently from where he sat at his desk. He was supposed to be grading papers, but something else had definitely caught his attention. Professor Walsh was in the middle of a lecture, and for once, Buffy seemed to be interested. She leaned slightly in her chair as the professor talked. Riley thought it was adorable how her eyebrows knitted together as she processed the new information in her mind.

"Tomorrow, I want to see everyone's research paper on my desk. Remember, this paper is worth a third of your grade," Professor Walsh said as the students began to file out of the classroom. Riley noticed Buffy grimace.

Riley waited for Buffy and Willow outside the door. Willow noticed him and decided that that was her cue to take off.

"Hey Buffy, I'm going to the library. Don't know when I'll be back. Bye!" Willow rushed off in the other direction before Buffy could protest. Riley just had that stupid grin on his face,

"So do you have that paper done already, or are you going to spend the whole night doing it?" Riley asked. "You didn't seem too pleased that it's due tomorrow."

"No, it's done. It's just not perfect. I'm actually trying not to worry about it too much. If only I knew someone on the inside. Someone who could perhaps give me a generous grade?" Buffy smiled up at him, which only made Riley laugh.

"Aw, Buffy, you know I couldn't do that. And I'm sure that you wrote an amazing essay. Or at least one that doesn't make you flunk." Buffy shoved Riley lightly as they both laughed. "So, does that mean that you're free tonight? Cause I was thinking that we could go to that club that you always talk about, The Bronze was it? We could dance or—"

"Sure," Buffy cut him off. Riley wasn't actually sure what they could do. He had never been to the club before and he wasn't sure what was there. Other than the obvious duhs, like dancing and drinks. "I'd love to."

Riley was surprised that she even said yes at all. They had been hanging out a lot lately, but she just seemed to be a little distracted, like she was thinking about something that wasn't real.

"Great! How about I pick you up at your room around eight, does that sound good?" Riley was beaming.

"Yep, that's fine."

"Alright I'll see you then. I gotta go to class now. Bye." Riley silently congratulated himself for having the courage to ask her. He had wanted to do that for a week now, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He really liked Buffy, even as insane that she might be.

Buffy watched as Riley walked in the other direction. She could tell that Riley was nervous, but she just smiled as she continued walking. Finally, he had made a move.

* * *

Spike watched with intent as Giles paced about the apartment. He knew it was because the Slayer hadn't checked in with him in over two weeks. Spike knew that nothing had happened to girl, but Giles kept muttering something along the lines of 'she promised' and 'she should have at least called.'

"She's not a child, Rupes. I'm sure that she's just fine," Spike called from where he stood in the kitchen. Giles didn't seem to care to lock him up anymore, despite his little stunt a few weeks ago. Not like he could escape now anyways; it was still sunlight out.

"And what do you care?" Giles stopped his pacing for two seconds to glare at him before he started it up again.

"I don't. But you're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep that up," Spike noted. Giles looked down at where his feet where, as if imagining the scenario Spike was depicting. He looked up at Spike for a second until he turned away, deciding that it wasn't going to happen.

The microwave then beeped and Spike pulled out a mug with blood in it. He found the Weetabix that Giles kept around and crushed enough to mix in with the blood. Just as Spike was about to take a sip, he looked over the rim of the cup and saw Giles' look of disgust. He smirked at the human and continued to finish his dinner. He didn't care whether or not ol' Rupes cared about his eating habits; he was a vampire!

_It's what I do, _Spike thought to himself. _I don't judge your human habits. _

Spike looked outside. It was only about twenty minutes until the sun set completely; he could feel it. He was just itching to get out. Not just for the hunt, though it did call to him, but just to get out of _here. _Plus, the government installed chip rendered him physically unable to hunt humans anymore. He couldn't even hurt one! Spike found that very limiting. Sometimes, the Whelp deserved a good smack every now and then, and Spike felt that he should be the one to deliver it. _Sometimes_, he thought, _it's worth it_.

Just then, Spike remembered something that troubled him. _And what do you care?_ That was Giles had asked him. He lied and told Giles that he didn't care, but he did. He had hoped that Buffy would make an appearance. He had dreamed of her every night for the past two weeks. Each dream becoming more and more involved. And he loved every minute of it.

Spike stifled a laugh to himself as he thought of Buffy shoving a cookie in his mouth after he complained of having "Buffy taste" in his mouth. He would never admit it to her, but Buffy taste wasn't so bad. He now understood partly why the Poofter fell for her. She was a bloody amazing kisser!

Spike had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Giles left the room. He used his vampire senses and could tell that he was still in the apartment, but he apparently went upstairs for a phone call. Spike was tempted to listen further to see who he was talking to, but he decided against it. Giles was a boring stiff and Spike could only bet that his conversations weren't that much more interesting.

Spike could sense that the sun was low enough for him to go out without the worry of burning up. He took his leather coat from the coat hanger and silently slipped out the front door. Shame on Giles for not being more attentive around a vampire, especially near night time. More so, because Spike was known to take advantage of any possibility presented to him, no matter how small.

And Spike had a mission to fulfill.

* * *

Giles had finished his phone call with his old friend Olivia. She was planning on visiting him from England and he was excited. Now if only he could get rid of Spike for a few days. Maybe he could dump him on Xander. He knew the boy didn't take to the vampire, but he would reassure him that it would only last a few days.

Giles made his way down the stairs. He looked around and started to get a little concerned. He checked his watch and knew that now was the time slot for _Passions_ reruns. Spike wasn't one to miss his show, even if he had already seen the episode. He checked all the rooms in the apartment, coming back to the lobby where he noticed a missing leather coat.

"Good lord."

* * *

Buffy stood there, contemplating whether or not her outfit of choice was too slutty. She looked at all the angles possible in the mirror that hung over the sink in her room. She wore a deep cobalt dress that ended mid thigh and a black button-down sweater that she left unbuttoned. She decided on her trademark boots, a black pair to match of course, but she was still indecisive.

Buffy leaned into the mirror for a further inspection as she checked for flyaways. Her hair was down in large waves that framed her face. Her makeup was just right, with enough eyeliner, but not too much. A few short knocks cut short her inspection. What she was wearing would have to do.

Buffy opened up the door to a well-dressed Riley. He was wearing acceptable dark wash jeans and a maroon shirt that he seemed to work with him really well. Over it he wore a heavy dark blue jacket.

"Wow, you look amazing. I mean wow. Though it's kinda cold outside, you sure you want to wear just that?" Riley asked.

"I'll probably be fine, but I'll bring another jacket just in case. Here, you can come in," Riley moved out of the way as Buffy closed the door just as two college boys ran down the hall in nothing but their boxers and capes around their necks. "I guess college doesn't make everyone mature," Buffy noted.

"Boys never really are," Riley stuck his hands in his pocket and looked around Buffy's room. He had been in here before when he came to talk to Willow about asking Buffy out. There wasn't much to look at other that a Dingoes Ate My Baby poster next to the bed on the left.

Buffy reached into her closet and pulled out a black leather jacket and tucked it into the nook of her arm. Realization spread across her face as she remembered something.

"Oh, I should leave Willow a note. She still hasn't come back from the library." Buffy scrambled along her desk for a pen and piece of paper.

"Still? Man that girl can read," Riley did an intake of breath, sounding impressed.

"Ready?" Buffy asked as she left the note on Willow's bed.

Buffy reached the door and pulled it open, only to see a familiar face block the door way.

"Spike," she whispered his name. Spike's stomach did a little flip when he heard her say his name like that, but he didn't let it show on his face.

"I want my ring back," Spike simply stated.

"What," Buffy sounded almost pained. Spike tried to ignore it. He wouldn't let her get to him.

"I want my ring back," Spike repeated. "Remember a couple of weeks ago I gave you my favorite ring? Well, I want it back." When Spike stopped explaining he finally noticed the human standing behind her. He was really tall. _Could even be taller than the Poofter, _Spike thought. He noticed that the human looked familiar, but Spike brushed it off.

"Buffy? Who is this?" Riley asked, pointing to figure in the doorway.

"Oh, uh Riley, this is Spike. Spike, this is Riley," Buffy sort of mumbled. She didn't like the position she was in.

"Spike as in, Spike, the guy you were 'marrying'?" Riley put air quotes around the word marrying, like he thought it to be some kind of joke.

Spike raised his eyebrows. "You told him? Somehow, that doesn't strike me as friendly getting-to-know-each-other conversation. 'Oh, by the way, I was engaged just only two weeks ago.'"

"Spike," the Slayer gritted through her teeth. She really wanted him to stop talking.

"Wait, you told me that that was all a joke you were playing on me. You two were really engaged?" Riley looked at Buffy, obviously looking for answers, hoping that she wouldn't lie to him. _Again, _Riley silently added to himself.

"Well kind of. It only lasted for like a day. Spike and I don't get along very well, so it kinda ended," Buffy explained as much as she could, without bringing the spell into the conversation.

"Well, to get engaged, didn't you two have to be well uh, dating?" Riley wasn't sure how this all was working out. It almost didn't make sense, and he obviously didn't have close to most of the story.

"Well—"

Spike cut her off. "It was an arranged sort of deal. We didn't have a choice. But when they realized that it wasn't going to work out, they decided to call it quits."

"Who're 'they'?" Riley wasn't taking this well. _If only he knew the real story,_ Buffy thought.

"O-our parents," Buffy offered.

"Your parents had you guys betrothed? Since when? 'Cause dude, you're like twenty-six I bet," Riley didn't sound convinced.

"Ever since Buffy was born. I was about seven when our parents made the decision," Spike lied so coolly, Buffy noted.

"And Parker?"

"Rebellion," Buffy simply said. She noticed how easier it was to lie when Spike was here to think of things faster than she could.

"Why were you guys only engaged a few weeks ago?"

"'Cause that's when I arrived in the States."

"Riley, are you alright? I know that it's a lot of information to take in. If you want, we could still—" Buffy was cut short.

"No, um. I really need to go home and think about this. I'm really sorry Buffy." And with that, Riley shoved past Spike and made his way down the hallway. He couldn't shake the feeling that that Spike guy looked really familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Buffy looked at Spike and breathed a heavy sigh. She slowly made her way over to her bed, not even bothering to shut the door on Spike. He took that as an invitation to come in. He closed the door behind him and sat down on Willow's bed. He remembered when he tried to bite Willow several weeks ago. It seemed so long ago.

"Why did you have to come now?" Buffy whined. "Hey, isn't Giles supposed to be looking after you?"

"Rupes was really bad at keeping an eye on me," Spike smirked.

"So the two times you manage to escape, you end up coming here, why?" Buffy was now confused.

"Well, the first time I figured was Red's meddling, but now I'm here for my ring, which I would still like back," Spike prompted.

"Oh, right." Buffy got up and went over to the dresser on Willow's side of the room. They'd split half the drawers. She reached into the drawer she kept specifically for jewelry. She fished around until she found the big skull ring. She held it out in front of her, remembering when she thought that it was the greatest engagement ring there was.

She shuffled across the carpet until she stood right in front of Spike. He looked up at her and reached for the ring, but Buffy moved her hand so that it was just out of reach.

"I hate you, you know that? I really, really don't like you. You're evil and soulless, and so annoying! I—"

"Well, someone has got to get you out of your messes. Like Captain Cardboard. You can't keep lying to him forever, you know that right?" Spike pushed.

"Well, he accepted my lie about the whole engagement just fine until you came here demanding for your ring back. By the way, here you go. I don't even know why you want it so bad anyways," Buffy threw the ring at him. Unfortunately for his vampire reflexes, he caught the ring with ease.

"I got it during the seventies before I killed a Slayer. It's like a good luck charm for me."

"Do you think I care?"

"You're the one who asked, luv." Buffy grimaced at the nickname.

"Why are you even still here? Shouldn't you be lurking or scaring someone, or something?" Buffy tried elaborating with her hands with gestures Spike didn't understand.

"I think I'm having more fun annoying you." Spike leaned on the bed with his elbows while Buffy just stood there. She placed her head in one of her hands, the other wrapped around her torso.

Buffy exhaled deeply. "Why can't you just. Leave. Me. Alone?"

"Fine then! Have fun spending the rest of the night alone." And with that, Spike stormed out of the dorm room.

Buffy was left alone in the silence for only about a minute until the phone rang.

"Buffy? It's Giles, I um, seem to have, misplaced Spike. I checked everywhere, but I can't seem to find him."

"That's alright Giles. I know where he is; I just saw him."

"Oh thank heavens! Once you find him again, would you mind bringing him to Xander's place instead? I've already made arrangements with him."

"Sure, uh why though?"

"I have a friend coming over, and I'd rather Spike not be here with us."

"No problem. 'Bye Giles."

"'Bye Buffy." Buffy grabbed her leather coat and dashed out the room, off to find Spike. _Again._


	3. Thoughts

**Finally!!!! I got Chapter 3 up. I had been busy with school and couldn't update sooner, but now it's Winter Break, so plenty of time for writing. If anyone has any suggestions for this story, that would be super helpful. Or if you would like to tell me that you like the story, that would be cool too, all it takes is a press of the review button. If you do, I might even get chapter four up before the New Year. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!  
**

Chapter 3: Thoughts

Riley was sitting on his bed shooting balls at the mini basketball hoop that hung on the door. He couldn't believe that Buffy had lied to him. He remembered how she was rambling outside that shop with the wedding dresses. _She really is insane, _Riley thought.

Forrest knocked on the door and walked through without waiting for an answer. "Hey man. I thought you were taking Buffy out on a date tonight?"

"I was. Turns out she's insane. And, her ex-fiancé shows up demanding for his ring back," Riley explained while taking another shot at the hoop.

"Woah, back up there. Did you just say her 'ex-fiancé'? Buffy was engaged?" Forrest was slightly puzzled.

"Two weeks ago. To some guy her parents set her up with when she was born. He just got here from England. The strange thing is, I swear I've seen him before," Riley explained.

"Why aren't they engaged anymore?" Forrest pushed.

"Apparently, they didn't get along for one day and the whole thing was called off."

"Well, one brother's loss is another brother's gain. Am I right?" Forrest waggled his eyebrows.

"I don't know. I mean, I really like Buffy, but I don't know what to do about her. She lied to me. She said that she was joking when she said she getting married. I thought she was crazy. Then I find out that she really _was _getting married, and I still think she's crazy," Riley didn't even know if he should be telling Forrest this.

"Hey, all I'm saying is, if the girl is interested, give her a shot. Buffy is smokin'. Even if it doesn't work out, you're not gonna pout and brood wondering what would have happened if you gave her another shot," Forrest reassured his friend.

"You're right. I think I'm—." Riley was interrupted when both his and Forrest's pagers went off. "Never mind," Riley mumbled.

The two college boys made their way downstairs to the lab. It was time for an assignment.

* * *

Riley and Forrest were leading the Alpha team while the other teams surveyed other parts of town. The Alpha team had been assigned the UC Sunnydale campus. Their director, Professor Walsh, had said that Beta team reported sightings of Hostile Seventeen, the vampire that had escaped several weeks ago. The Initiative had been on the lookout for him; he held their deepest secret, and the initiative wanted it to remain that way.

The team was scattered along the line of bushes and trees surrounding a grass area on campus. Everything was quite except for the occasional gush of wind that rustled the leaves.

"What's that?" Graham broke the silence. He pointed to a figure just emerging from the shadows of a building across the grass field. Riley made his way over to Graham and followed to where his friend was pointing. Riley squinted a little and recognized the figure.

"Oh, that's Buffy's ex-fiancé. He came to her dorm earlier, just before we were supposed to leave for our date," Riley said.

"And he does not look happy," Forrest chimed in as her came to crouch next to Riley.

"Woah, Buffy's got an ex-fiancé?" Graham asked.

"Long story," Riley answered. It wasn't a real answer, but it was as much as he could explain while on an assignment; he would tell Graham everything later.

Graham looked down at the monitor in his hands. He had been using it to look at the body temperatures of the people in Stevenson Hall. All the figures in the building showed up in red and orange colors, but the man that entered the grass area was blue.

"Woah, wait a sec. We got a cold one." The three figures hunched over all looked up to see what the monitor picked up. Riley's mouth and eyes widened as he realized who it was.

"Hey wait. That's him," Riley said.

"Who?" Forrest asked.

"Hostile Seventeen."

"Buffy's fiancé—" Graham began.

"A demon. Does Buffy know?" Forrest looked at Riley.

"Of course not. She probably doesn't even know they exist."

Riley was just about to notify the rest of his team about the HST when another figure entered the grass area. The short, petite blonde ran until she reached the vampire. Riley quickly put on headphones that were connected to a listening devise that recorded sounds for two miles.

"What do you want," Riley heard Hostile Seventeen say.

"Giles called. Apparently he's really worried," Buffy said.

"And so what. You're not taking me back there. Watcher's more boring than watching paint dry."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm not taking you there. You're going to Xander's place for a couple of days."

The bleached vampire lifted a scarred eyebrow. "Watcher's dropping me on the Whelp now, huh? Well, I'll save you the trouble; I'm not going. Think I'll find a local haunt to move into."

"No, you're going to Xander's until Giles tells me otherwise. Now let's go." Buffy said sternly.

"Make me," the demon smirked. Riley, Graham, and Forrest gaped in awe as the human kicked the vampire at least seven feet away. She then proceeded to take a string of rope from her belt, but before she reached him, Hostile Seventeen was up.

The two began to move in the only way Riley could describe as dancing. Buffy would get in a blow every now and then, the vampire never delivering one himself. He was obviously aware of the behavior modification in his head. Eventually, Buffy had the vampire pinned against a tree and then threw him to the ground. With the rope, she tied his arms and his torso together. Buffy pulled him up and directed him out of the grass area.

A sudden beeping alerted Riley out of his shock. He looked down at his pager and noticed the message. "Walsh wants us back at the lab," he said. The team gathered all their equipment and made their way to the Initiative.

* * *

All the teams that were sent out reconvened in the underground labs of the Initiative. Professor Walsh came out of the private labs and stood in front of the Alpha team. "Anything eventful during the assignment?" she asked.

"I'm not positive what happened, but we've successfully identified Hostile Seventeen" Riley answered.

"What do you mean 'You're not sure what happened'?" Professor Walsh questioned.

"We were able to locate Hostile Seventeen, but unfortunately, someone took him before we could maneuver," Forrest answered for him.

"Someone?"

"Buffy Summers," Riley said mournfully. "I don't think that she's human."

* * *

"Ow, could you not tie those so tight?" Spike protested as Buffy knotted the vampire to the chair. She managed to get Spike to Xander's basement, but not without sacrificing some of her sanity. He kept complaining and talking the whole way there, and didn't stop after they got there.

"It's not like you need the circulation," Buffy grunted.

"Ya, well, it still pinches," Spike mumbled. Xander sat on his bed not five feet away and continued to glare at Spike.

"Why did I agree to let Spike stay here again?" Xander questioned the Slayer.

"Because Giles needed you to," Buffy shrugged. "Did he tell you why?"

"He said something about he has a friend coming from England and that he really didn't want Spike ruining the mood or something. I didn't want to ask many questions."

"Good thinking. Giles with a life is a little weird. And kinda creepy," Buffy gave one last tug as she finished tying up the vampire, while he winced. She noticed and almost felt guilty about it. Buffy wouldn't allow herself to think of the vampire any other way than as a source of information or as defenseless.

Buffy was done and said goodbye to Xander. She left his house and started making her way towards campus. When she got there, she would call Giles and tell him that everything was alright. Spike was safely secured by nice ropes that she had tied herself, so she knew her wasn't about to get away anytime soon. She was also proud that she didn't feel guilty about it; she would have if she didn't think any better of it.

She still couldn't get over the fact that she's been thinking about him since the spell Willow did. Willow said that the feeling should have worn off in time, and Buffy was sure that two weeks was pushing it.

Buffy specifically hadn't gone to Giles because Spike was there, and then all of a sudden, he shows up at her dorm room just as she and Riley were about to go on their first date. On top of that, Spike revealed her lie to Riley. He probably wouldn't even want to go out with her anymore.

Buffy thought that distance from Spike would make her feelings for him lessen so that she could begin her relationship with Riley guiltless. She thought that because she and Riley had finally started making plans that it would be her all-pass to develop stronger feelings for him. Spike's arrival only proved that it wasn't that easy.

She knew that it's really hard to fall out of love with someone, even spell induced love. Buffy knew that when Angel became Angelus, she still felt something for him. She'd had so many opportunities to kill him, but she couldn't. She'd chalked it up to herself that it was because she needed time to become stronger. Angelus was no ordinary vampire; he was a world-known master vampire. He was the most brutal vampire in history, and she had to fight him.

In the end, she did win. _Because you were given a lucky break by a certain bleached vampire, _Buffy thought. William the Bloody, the second most brutal vampire in history, had helped her defeat Angelus, his grandsire. Ultimately, Buffy fell for that vampire too. _Because it was a spell, _Buffy assured herself. _You only love Spike because of a spell. It's not real. Whatever you feel isn't real. _Even if it wasn't real, it was hard to let go of. She and Spike were not only betrothed, they were _in love_. You don't just one day forget all the feelings you felt for someone. Buffy still felt something for Angel, even though they both agreed that they weren't in each other's worlds anymore. Buffy didn't think that she would ever fully get over him, but she knew that she wouldn't be in love with him like she was before. There would be feelings though.

Buffy didn't know if this would also apply to Spike. The spell might have caused her to fall in love with him, but she would still remember the feelings she had for him. That in turn could affect how she would feel for him in the future. She and Spike had had something, and a small part of Buffy wanted that back. She wished that the spell had never ended and that she was back in love. Buffy remembered being truly _happy _when she was with him_. _She couldn't remember being happy since before Angel broke up with her and left Sunnydale. Even though she and Spike didn't see eye-to-eye when they were engaged, especially when it came to the ceremony plans, she was just happy to be with _him. _

Buffy was still in mid thought about Spike when an electric shock ran through Buffy's entire body. The last thing Buffy remembered was thinking how cute Spike got when he was jealous as several dark figures approached her as she fell over and blacked out.

**Like? Don't like? Tell me. And hey, is that a button that says 'Review' in green? Maybe if you pressed it...**


	4. Initiative

**A/N – Sorry this took LITERALLY forever. I noticed that I hadn't updated this story in like three years, which is a problem, since I had half of this chapter written about as long. Hope you enjoy though!**

**Summary of what's happened: Buffy has been captured by the Initiative, as Riley turned her in after seeing her fight Spike. Spike is discovered as being Hostile Seventeen, as well as Buffy's ex-fiancee by Riley and his commandos. Buffy learned that Professor Walsh and Riley are working at the Initiative, with the possibility that more people she knows works there too...  
**

Chapter 4: Initiative

When Buffy woke up, the first thing she noticed were bright, harsh lights. She immediately tried to raise her arm to the block the light, but her arm was strapped in tightly. She gave a few tugs, but the straps wouldn't give in. Buffy realized that all of her limbs were in straps, including one along her collar. She was in a gurney, like the ones they had at a hospital.

A figure came up to block one of the lights above her with his body. She couldn't see his face clearly, but she could tell that he held a clipboard in his arms. Another figure came up to the other side of her and spoke to the first person.

"Shall we begin the procedure?" she asked.

"Yes. We should start with her reaction time. Will you—" the man said while indicating at the straps. The woman began to slowly unstrap her. Buffy was still a little groggy, but when both her arms and shoulders were free, she lashed out. Buffy's right arm flew out and the woman flew into the wall twenty feet away.

Buffy quickly freed her legs and jumped off the gurney. The man was frantically searching for a tranquilizer. He didn't know effective one would be because they had no idea what Buffy Summers was, but he was willing to use anything. He finally found Xanax just before the demon girl was right in front of him. It would have to do.

The man didn't have the chance to use the drug. Buffy had kicked it out of reach and continued to punch the man out. He was out cold and Buffy ran over to see if the woman was still conscious. When she found that she was out too, Buffy ran over to the door. There was a little window in the door and Buffy ducked just as two soldiers walked by. When she felt that the coast was clear, the Slayer opened the door into what appeared to be a long white hallway. She randomly chose to go left and follow the soldiers she'd seen a moment before.

The Slayer came to another door with a small rectangular window in it. On the other side of the glass was a vast room, which Buffy thought resembled a warehouse. There were people everywhere, some in lab coats, and others in military garb. Buffy realized that the soldier-type men were most likely the commandos she'd seen on patrol. The Slayer thought that it appeared that the warehouse structure was an army base of some sort. That was until she watched two soldiers escort a green demon that Buffy couldn't recognize across the room into a door that required a key card.

That's when it hit Buffy. _This is the same place that Spike was taken. Oh God, what have they done to me? _Buffy wasn't sure if these people knew that she was the Slayer, but she knew that she didn't want them to find out. She was so lost in thought, that she didn't even notice the footsteps behind her.

"Buffy Summers." The blonde felt a chill run up her spine when she heard her name from a voice she recognized. She turned around slowly until she came face to face with Professor Walsh. "I see that you have managed to escape your containment room."

"You…you work here? What is this place? You're the one who captures demons and does experiments on them? What do you want from me? Where are we? What—"

"This is the Initiative. I can assure you Ms. Summers that all I want from you is answers. As for the rest of your questions, that's classified information," Walsh just smiled, which Buffy didn't find very reassuring.

"Answers to what exactly?" The Slayer wasn't entirely sure what the motive of this organization was. She knew they were the ones to render Spike harmless, but for what purpose? Buffy didn't understand.

"What you are. You see Buffy, this is a place of science. We want to know how things work, particularly hostiles. We find unknown species everyday, and we discover their assets, weaknesses, powers, and the like. When you were brought in, I did several tests to find out what you are. But every result was conclusive to 'human'. But you're not human, are you?"

"I'm human. There's nothing about me that isn't human. Anyone who's a demon knows who I am. I'd have figured that demon hunters would've known by now who I was," Buffy said cryptically.

"Last time I checked, superhuman strength without the presence of drugs didn't add up to 'human'."

Buffy figured she'd risk her secret if it meant actually getting answers. "I'm the Slayer."

"That's just a myth among demons," Walsh didn't even blink an eye.

"I think I would know if I was 'just a myth'. I've been the Slayer for years. I hunt and kill vampires and demons every night. All I am is a human with added strength. I'm not a demon," Buffy concluded.

She heard the click of the key card being used behind her and the Slayer turned around just as a familiar figure walked through the door. "Professor—" he began.

"Riley?" Buffy was dumbfounded. First, her psychology teacher was admitting to performing tests on her because she had thought Buffy was a demon, and now her sorta-boyfriend was standing in front of her dressed as a commando.

"Buffy. How did you get out?" Riley questioned as he moved to stand next to his boss.

"I was just about to ask that myself, Agent Finn. So tell me, did you kill my doctors?" Professor Walsh turned her head to the side expecting an answer.

"No! I don't kill humans. That's not what I do. I told you what I am and what I do. Please just let me go and I promise that I won't tell anyone about this place," Buffy was beginning to plead. She had no intention of never telling anyone about the commandos' base, especially to Giles. The possibilities of what this place was were endless. Who knew how many people from her school worked here? Professor Walsh had admitted to experimenting on demons to lean of their powers, but she didn't say why? What purpose could these people have for studying demons? Buffy feared that she already knew the answer. Power.

"I can't take that chance that you will tell anyone about us if I let you go. We've already had one HST escape, and we've been searching for him to no avail. Until last night. Where is Hostile Seventeen, Buffy?" Professor Walsh demanded.

"Huh? Who?" Buffy was confused at first, until she started thinking. Last night must have been when she was captured. She had taken Spike to Xander's just before then. If they saw her with him…

"Don't play dumb. Agent Finn says that you know Hostile Seventeen. He saw you two together. You were alone when we captured you, but you had been with the hostile earlier last night, were you not?" Professor Walsh, almost looked smug. "For someone who claims that she kills demons, you seem awfully close to one. The only one to have escaped from us, might I add."

"Oh, well I haven't seen him. I don't know where he would be now." Buffy stated, hoping she looked sincere.

"Hostile Seventeen is critical to our secret. Where is he?" The psychology professor had her teeth clenched, as if she was about to blow.

"Look, Spike isn't the most predictable vampire. He's all over the board, and he can't stay still for long periods of time. He could be in Casablanca right now, for all I know." Buffy raised he voice more and more as she spoke. _Yelling sounds like a good cover for lying_, Buffy thought.

Riley was still standing there, not knowing what to do. Professor Walsh looked tense, while Buffy looked angry. They were staring at each other, not really knowing how to react. He broke the silence, "Buffy, you said that you were engaged to that vampire. What was that all about?"

"It was a spell. Spike and I have been…enemies for a while now. He's been trying to kill me for years." Buffy didn't that she should tell him about Willow though. Who knew what the Initiative would do with a witch." A witch casted a spell over the both of us. It was an accident."

"You're telling me that you were thought to be engaged to a vampire because of _magic? _This sounds insane. You sound more insane every time you lie about what really happened. Magic isn't real." Riley disregarded her story.

"You believe in demons and monsters, but you don't think that magic is real? Riley, I've known about the supernatural world longer than you have. I've seen things you could never imagine. Magic exists. Witches exist. Magic is just as real as the demons you capture and experiment on. It's just not as corporeal. It's not something that you can try to harness for yourself." Buffy looked at Professor Walsh with that last sentence. She knew they wanted power, but they couldn't get it by trying to find magic.

"Yes well, thank you for your insight, but I think that you need to be brought back to your containment room. Agent Finn?" Walsh looked expectantly at Riley.

Riley hesitated. He was still processing what Buffy had said, but had noticed the look that his boss gave him. He made a move towards Buffy, and before he knew it, her fist connected with his jaw. Riley spun and collided with the wall behind him. Professor Walsh observed this and gritted her teeth as she faced the Slayer.

Buffy shoved the scientist into Riley just as he was recovering. They both fell over on the floor in front of the door. Buffy then made a run for it. She didn't know where she was going, but she followed the path of the walls, running through random corridors that didn't seem to lead anywhere.

Finally, she paused a moment to catch her breathe. Buffy looked up and noticed a vent. She jumped up once to push the cover away, and a second time to grab on. She hoisted her self into the ventilation system. Buffy put the cover back on and began crawling in the direction she had been running in previously. She made sure to be brisk in pace, but minimal in noise at the same time.

Sooner or later, more so the latter, she came to the end of the vent. She removed the cover and looked out. It was a vast room with no one in sight. She crawled out of the small space, making sure to put the cover back as well. She was at the floor level at least, so she wouldn't have to jump, as the ceiling here was around thirty feet up.

The room was eerily white, with only silver tables decorating it. Buffy wandered around the room a bit. She couldn't see any cameras around, lucky for her, but she also didn't see any obvious way out. After a bit of snooping, she found a passageway hidden behind a wall of tanks. She didn't know what the tanks were filled with, probably some type of explosive gas, not that it really mattered to her. Buffy took a step through the passageway.

It led to a cave. It was cold and dark, but at least Buffy still had some hope left. All she had to do at this point was find the entrance. She followed the dim light coming from one end of the cave. She came across the mouth of the cave that opened up to a forest. She was free!

Buffy knew where she was now. She didn't venture into the forest that often, but she knew that it was on the edge of Sunnydale, close to the university. When Spike had escaped, he said he came out through an opening on the campus of UC Sunnydale. The Initiative was so big, it wasn't just underneath the university, but underneath more of Sunnydale then they realized.

She wasn't going to risk going back to the school right now. She decided to go to Xander's place instead, as it was the safest place for her right now. The Initiative was massive, with army soldiers. If this was a government operation, they could find out where she lived. She didn't worry about her mother too much, as the Initiative would only ask her where she was, and the less her mom knew, the better.

It was about dusk now, meaning Xander would be home now from whichever job he was working at the time. If her friends thought she was missing, which was likely since she never came back to the dorm room she shared with Willow or left a note, then she needed to call a Scooby meeting.

She arrived at Xander's, knocking on the basement door. Xander opened the door, his eyes widening when he saw her. She pushed past him into his room. Buffy noted the vampire still tied to the chair, just as she had left him last night. His eyebrows rose as he saw her, but said nothing.

Buffy turned around towards her friend. "We have a problem."


	5. Hiding

**A/N - Caveat to diehard Spuffy fans, there are mentions of Bangel (I am personally not a fan, but for Buffy's thinking process, I had to include it). There isn't a whole lot of Spike/Buffy interaction, but don't worry, it's coming soon! Let me know what you guys think. So far, I've had positive reviews, and I wanted to thank you guys for liking this story. I'm sorry I don't update as often as I should, but I'm working on a new project of mine (and yes it's a Spuffy story). Without further ado, let the reading commence!**

* * *

Chapter 5: Hiding

The Scoobies had all gathered in the dank basement that was Xander's bedroom. Buffy had paced around the room not saying anything as she waited for each member to arrive. Once everyone was there, she was bombarded by people talking.

"Buffy, where have you been? You never came back to the dorms," Willow started.

"Yeah, Buff. We thought something nasty got you on your way home," Xander added.

"You know, you are taking my precious orgasm time away. Why did we have to meet here?" Anya wined.

"Stop!" Buffy held up her hand as she spoke, making everyone pause for a moment. "Okay yes, something did get me," she began. "After dropping off Spike, I woke up in a lab." Everyone's eyes widened at that, including Spike's. The Slayer turned her attention to the vampire, "The same one you were brought to. They're looking for you. And now, they're looking for me too."

"Are you saying that the commandos are collecting humans as well?" Giles spoke for the first time since he arrived.

"No, just demons. They thought I was a demon too apparently, and they think that I'm working with Spike."

"Oi! I would never work with a bint like you…oh, except that one time. But there were circumstances—"

"Shut up, Spike," Buffy cut him off. "It's called the Initiative, and it's located right underneath the university. Students and teachers work there." She turned to the red head. "Professor Walsh is one of the scientists there." After the witch gasped, the Slayer continued, "And Riley is a commando. And he knows about me now, and Spike."

"He knows that you're—oh! He knows about spell?" Willow staged whispered.

"I had to tell him. He recognized Spike as being the vampire that escaped and he asked about the engagement. I couldn't lie to him anymore, but it's not like he believed me anyways."

"Does this Professor Walsh know that you are the Slayer?" Giles prodded.

"Yeah. She said she did all these tests on me to try and find out what I was, but everything said I was human. She asked me what I was, and I told her I was the Slayer. She didn't really believe me either."

"Well, it may work in our favor that she does not believe in your statement, but that does not exclude you from becoming a target again, especially if you are their only connection to Spike. In the meantime, I suggest that you keep a low profile, and if your theory about other teachers and students working for the Initiative is correct, then I would recommend that you do not attend your lectures. At least for a few days."

"That's why I came straight here. I couldn't go back to the dorms and I figured they could find my mom's house if they're military. I didn't think that anyone would look here to find me," Buffy explained.

"It very well may be in your best interest that you stay here then," Giles concluded.

"What? No! This isn't a hotel, and you've already dumped Spike on poor Xander. And what about us? We can't have romantic evenings with Spike here, let alone Buffy—"

"Ahn, calm down. It's okay. The Buff is welcome here as long as she needs protection. And it's only for a few days, right?" Xander looked to his friends.

"Of course. I don't want to intrude any more than I have to. And thanks, Xan," Buffy smiled.

"Good, then that's settled. Now, we must come up with some sort of plan. By both yours and Spike's accounts, this Initiative does not appear to be purely good in nature. Surely, a military interest in demons could have disastrous effects and they must be incapacitated. Buffy, did you happen to discover the Initiative's goals?"

"Walsh implied that she wanted to harness the power of demons, but I kinda got the feeling that there was more. Something just feels off about this," Buffy began pacing again as she thought.

"As it may be, we can only hope that this woman has no bigger plan. It will prove to be very difficult to learn of their plans with you in hiding. We will have to find a new way to approach this," Giles was trying to think of something as well.

"Will, do you think that you could use your hacking skills to break into Professor Walsh's personal computer? She could have things about the Initiative on there," Buffy tried.

"Maybe? I can try, but it's going to take some time," Willow wasn't sure of herself.

"Well that's better than nothing. But even if we figure out what she's hiding, how are we going to stop her and the Initiative? These guys are human, and I can't kill them. And this place is huge, with people and demons all over the place. I mean, how do we stop a government organization?" Buffy seemed to have found something that she could not truly fight.

"Our best course of action as it appears is to gather any information we can before we can come up with a formidable plan. Willow, you must find out all that you can before we proceed," Giles had put the pressure on the witch.

Willow was scared and nervous, but despite her internal woes, she nodded at Giles, "Count on it. Tech-y Willow is on a mission. I should probably go and start on that. No telling how long it might take me to get in."

"Very well. Check in with me tomorrow?" Giles asked.

"I'm free in the afternoon, so I'll stop by then," the red head waved her goodbyes before she parted.

An awkward silence descended the room after the witch left.

"So Buffy, how did you escape?" Xander broke the quiet.

"I found this vent and followed it to this big room that connected to some caves in the forest," the Slayer admitted.

"Is the Initiative that big?" Xander questioned.

"It's massive. Who knows what else is going on in that place, other than what I saw?" Buffy contemplated.

"Bloody torture if you ask me," the vampire muttered not so under his breath.

"Shut up, Spike," Xander beat his blonde friend to the insult.

"Anyways, it's rather late and I should be heading home now," the former librarian announced. "And not stay here any longer than I have to," he muttered to himself. A knowing glance towards the bleached blonde told the watcher that the vampire had clearly heard what he had said.

After the watcher departed, Xander insisted on driving Anya home. With the frustration the ex-demon was throwing about the room, there was little speculation as to what she was upset about. Xander threw out a 'make yourself at home' to Buffy before following his sexually pent-up girlfriend up the stairs. The Slayer knew that Xander probably wouldn't be home for another hour or so.

An uncomfortable silence came upon the room left with only the Slayer and vampire. Buffy looked around her, looking for something to keep her focus. She meandered around Xander's unkempt room, realizing a flaw in her new hiding plan. By not going to the dorms or to her mom's house, Buffy had no clothes or anything but what she had on her person, which wasn't anything but her clothes. She then noticed that the stake that she had tucked in her jacket pocket was missing. The Initiative scientists must have taken it while she was passed out. They couldn't allow a demon to carry weapons, now could they?

Back to the not-having-any-clothes thing, Buffy determined that her best hope was to call Willow and have her drop off some of her things after class tomorrow. If she was staying here as long as she expected, and she really didn't want to, she would need her own things.

Not that she didn't love Xander or anything, but the thought of using his shampoo or sleeping on any surface of his room did not sit well with the Slayer. It did not help that with her crashing at Xander's, she would also be forced to spend more time with the bleached blonde vampire that she had been trying to avoid the past two weeks.

Willow had said that her feelings should have dissipated soon after the spell, but there wasn't too much dissipation going on as of yet. Sure, Buffy could admire Spike the way any woman would admire a sexy man with chiseled cheekbones and washboard abs. _And I did not just think of Spike as sexy, _Buffy tried to backpedal in her own mind.

_Are you crazy? Do you not remember feeling those taut abs beneath your fingertips not so long ago?_ Buffy's inner monologue turned into a dialogue between the proverbial angel and devil on her shoulders. And that was definitely the devil part talking.

_That was a spell. You don't feel anything for this vampire. Nothing even remotely physical as well, _the angel sounded.

_ You sure? Because some vampire got you all hot and bothered, and it wasn't Angel, _the devil chimed.

_You only want Spike because you can't have Angel. Angel loves you. Spike doesn't._

_ If you still have some feelings for Spike, what's to say he doesn't feel the same way about you? Maybe he doesn't love you. It doesn't mean he can't though._

_ Spike doesn't have a soul. He can't love, he isn't capable of it._

_ Demons can love. You just don't want to believe that Angel couldn't without the soul._

_ That wasn't him, that was Angelus._

_ And you still loved him then, even without the soul. _

Buffy put the brake to her thinking. Her mind was entering territory she thought she left long ago. Angel left. He moved-to-another-town left, but there was always that inkling that they were never quite done. He wanted a normal life for her, but where did he get the idea that he could make decisions for her own life?

Parker never would have worked out, she realized. Even if he hadn't been skeeze that used girls, she knew that she could never have a relationship with him. Angel had left her broken and shattered, and now Buffy was trying too hard to find a guy that could pick up the pieces and put them back together. Parker sure as hell wouldn't have been able to do that.

And then there was Riley. Sweet, normal Riley. He was a caring, good-natured guy who, for all intents and purposes, seemed like Buffy's ticket into a normal life. He was supposed to be the guy that didn't see her as the Slayer, but as the quirky co-ed in the Psychology 101 class that he TA-ed in.

Buffy had almost thought that Riley would even believe the 'betrothed' thing and get over it. But now, he knew the truth about her. She had told him about the spell, and he dismissed her like she didn't know what she was talking about. Even then, Buffy could see that had they made things work out, in the long run, he would have a difficult time in having the Slayer for a girlfriend. And while the whole Riley-being-a-soldier-for-a-demon-catching-operation made it seem like they were that much easier matched for each other, Buffy could see how they would clash in the future. Riley probably relied on orders and only saw that all demons were evil, and that the only good demon was a dead demon. Or worse, what if he agreed with all the testing and experimentation that went on in the Initiative, and wanted to harness demon power for government use? Buffy knew that demons were evil, but in rare circumstances, there were some that weren't.

Angel wasn't evil—at least with the soul he wasn't. He wasn't your regular run-of-the-mill vampire, and Buffy had a feeling that Riley wouldn't have understood something like that. And then there was Oz. While a werewolf didn't really seem like a 'demon' in the way Buffy had experienced them, she knew that the Initiative wouldn't pass the chance to study one. Technically a human, but during three full moon nights, a beast with no self control. Buffy shivered to think about what the Initiative would do to try and use a werewolf to their benefit.

All this deep thinking was only confusing the Slayer more, not to mention giving her a headache. Thankfully, Xander's entrance into the basement brought Buffy out of her reverie just in time.

After figuring in out the sleeping arrangements—Buffy had insisted on sleeping on the floor for fear of sleeping in the bed that her friend and Anya shared so often—Xander went to find blankets to make his new guest comfortable. While Xander got her 'bed' ready, Buffy called Willow to ask if she could bring over a bag with her things before she went over to Giles. The witch had admitted to already thinking ahead and had packed a bag with some of her things. The red head agreed to swing by, and they said their goodnights before hanging up the phone.

Buffy tried to settle underneath the blankets, but found that sleep would almost be impossible that night. She was uncomfortable in her clothes, as she was still wearing the dress she had planned to wear on her date with Riley the night before, only to be kidnapped by him later. To add to her discomfort, her Slayer senses were going wild from being not three feet away from a deadly vampire, neutered as he was, but a vampire nonetheless. And to top off her night, Xander snored like an elephant hollered when it saw a mouse. Buffy tried her breathing exercises to relax herself, but it seemed like forever until she finally fell asleep.


End file.
